My brother is madly in love. This love is definitly much stronger than any other girl he’s been into. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for him but I”m also very conflicted.
Suffice it to say, there was a big blow out with my family about my partner a long time ago. We were dating for three years and it was one of the most painful three years of my life. He’s a lovely guy, but that wasn’t enough for them. I finally made a decision for my happiness and stopped seeing him.
I’m conflicted because when my brother gets to celebrate his love when I wasn’t allowed to.
It’s like a stab in the heart each and every single time.
He gets support for his celebration. STAB. The fact that he’s in love often comes up in casual family conversation. STAB. They’re welcoming. STAB. They pick her up from the airport. STAB STAB.
Reasons why my family didn’t like my partner: He didn’t have a [proper] education. He wasn’t the right race. I think they are all excuses, they never saw the great part of him. They never saw his intelligence, his kindness or his love. It didn’t matter that he had started his own business, supportive of his family through hard times and wanted to take care of me.
My brother is much more straight edge. He finds the appropriate profession, he finds the appropriate partner. He colours within the lines. It means he never encounters turbulence. I’m beginning to resent his happiness and it’s the worst thing a sister can do. I resent he doesn’t challenge the authority, I resent he accepts the status quo and doesn’t question it. So I just don’t do anything at all. I stay silent. I eat the anger and it’s not a healthy diet.
I just don’t know what I’m looking for to have a resolution.
